The question is how I know if what I’m saying is getting through to the people I’m talking to, and why am I sometimes feeling weird when I am working with somebody in my workplace with my boss for example.
This comes down to three things, what your core values are, your basic personality, meaning who you are, but also what you’re saying and what you’re saying is aligned with your values.
For example, when I run property classes and I talk about property from the perspective of me being an investor the message is very passionate and sometimes it’s very direct, but people relate because what I’m saying is what I’m doing. I also believe that if people don’t build a business in the background some sort of security, i.e. a property business and they’re relying on a job they’re in trouble.
The message is aligned with my core values, one of which is security and also the need for human beings to grow and expand to invest in themselves and develop a business, so all those messages are aligned.
If I didn’t trust in one of those messages or if I didn’t believe in one of those messages then, although I might be saying it the other person doesn’t feel it.
The reason you can get resonance with somebody and get connection is when what you’re saying and the words you’re saying are aligned with who you are as a person and they align with the other person.
If the other person doesn’t relate to those set values then there is no point to change them anyway. Don’t get upset about it. Quite frankly it’s not going to be a good working relationship anyway, as I’ve discovered over the years.
Number one if you don’t know what your core values are you’re in trouble to start with because you’re basically fumbling through life possibly living by somebody else’s core values. If for example you told me you were healthy and that was one of your core values, but actually most of the time you’re eating processed food, drinking alcohol then the reality is you might say you’re healthy, but your lifestyle doesn’t reflect that.
A quick way to identify somebody’s core values is to simply look at how they show up and it immediately reflects it.
What a person says is different from what a person does. If they’re aligned with the values of how they show up, how they act and speak are all aligned the message is very powerful.
One of the things that I teach people is if you share an idea with somebody or if you yourself are not doing it or not aligned with those values you can’t just regurgitate a concept to somebody if it’s not in alignment with yourself. You have to have your message or messages aligned with your core values of if you’re working in a business and your business is selling a health product or an idea, concept or making money but you do not you completely believe that or you are actually not doing it or you’re not aligned with it completely.
I mean completely. It’s not going to work.
That’s a classic example, when somebody’s values are not aligned with what they’re saying and I can spot it straight away. In your business, what do you believe about what you’re offering to people and do those things align with your core values?
If you say I don’t know what my core values are you need to start working on that look.
Have a look at your business. Is there anything in the business or service that you offer that does not completely align with you as a person and your core values. If there is something to ask yourself question why am I offering that service because quite frankly it doesn’t really fit my core values.
Finally are you working for somebody who is completely misaligned with your values, most people I have coached over the years they are not happy with their job, the career it’s because who they are as person is not actually vibrational leap in harmony with the employer i.e. the person they’re working for me.
Imagine you’re into organic, healthy food and you believe in juicing and you believe in waking up in the morning eating healthy but you work for a burger company. You’re wondering why you’ve been kind of pissed off in the last few years. It’s because your core values are totally misaligned with that company.
That may mean stepping back in your workplace and then working somewhere else or it might be that within the workspace you’re working there are two or three people you’re not so aligned with and that may be a challenge.
So then there are skills you can develop to communicate with those people in such a way that at least you’re connecting with the appropriate set of values that they may have, albeit they’re not your values but you’re doing it for the purpose of the functionality of the company, the business, job you’re in and that’s tricky because you can choose people to come work for you.
When I do events for example, my own personal brand who I choose to come and crew for us is very specific. It’s not like random people, they have to be totally aligned and doing what I’m teaching.
But when you go to work to somebody you can’t choose the people you’re working with and that’s where the communication can break down so there are ways to communicate such a way that you’re still aligned with those people from the point of you’re functioning in the job, albeit you don’t want to associate with them, hang out with them et cetera.
The first step is just identifying what your core values are. Then it’s learning how to communicate those values outwardly.