- Improve your personal and professional communication with Dr Ro
- September/October, 2020
- Hotel Sofitel, London Gatwick
Episode 061 – Discover the magic of Synchronicities, what are they, what they are not, the law of attraction link, how to spot them, how to use them and more
The very podcast you’re listening to now, came about through a sequence of events, that came about through acting on a sequence of synchronicities.
In fact the name – Seekardo – came about through another set of synchronicities. The word ‘Kardo’ meaning ‘Turning Point’ in an ancient language, paired with the word ‘Seek’ – links back to Dr Ro’s best selling book and events – Turning Point.
Now, most people may refer to such events as – coincidences. But this approach misses so much magic.
As well as missing the magic of life, you may be missing important messages/signals encouraging you to make a decision that could change the direction of your life for the better.
On this episode, Dr Ro and Harminder unravel everything around Synchronicities:
- What is a synchronicity?
- What does a synchronicity commonly get mistaken for?
- How does synchronicity link to the law of attraction?
- How do you spot a synchronicity (or multiple)/How does it show up in your life?
- When should you act upon a synchronicity?
- How do synchronicities help you?
- How can you act on and take advantage of a synchronicity?
And much more. Go ahead and listen to episode 061 of the Seekardo Show.
Harms: Hello it’s Harms here and welcome to another episode of the Seekardo show and today we are talking about an amazing word that is synchronicity.
Synchronicity defined in the world of psychology is defined as the occurrence of meaningful coincidences that seem to have no cause, that is the coincidences are a causal.
The underlying idea here is that there is a unity in diversity and this was first brought to light by Carl Jung, who introduced the concept in his psychological works. This podcast exists because of a sequence of synchronicity that occurred in both mine and Dr Ro’s life.
Without being aware of the synchronicity and acting upon them the Seekardo show would not exist.
That’s how powerful this word is.
Dr Ro: Hi everybody, welcome to the Seekardo show thank you for joining us and for those that are supporting us, thank you for supporting us.
The synchronistic experiences of your life have led you to that point; it wasn’t by chance. Harms you raise a really good point, all the different experiences we have and the choices we make and the aha moments that link together that then define our decisions and the direction has led to you and I sitting in this room opposite each other recording, what a fantastic way to open.
I think historically people talked about the concept of coincidences and the phrase it was him that really brought this to the point where people start to discuss it.
This is going back to Carl Jung’s work, this concept of synchronicity is to describe circumstances and I’m reading it actually as I am speaking that appear meaningfully related yet lack causal connection.
What that means is that when we think, gosh that’s synchronicity or when people use the words coincidence the relationship is that they’re meaningfully related and yet they don’t seem to have any sort of causal connection.
Meaning that doesn’t make sense because that’s happened, but that’s not related. How did that get to this point here?
Meaning lots of different things.
Lots of different roads have led to this junction. We went for a cycle ride and we came to that crossroads and we were joking about when did this exist? Was it back in the old days with a carthorse and people stopped and met?
But every one of those people had come to that crossroads from a completely different destination they were at before or a source or destination. I think that’s the same thing with synchronicity.
When several things come to bear at the same point and you’ve got this heightened awareness you say that’s a coincidence which I think is for the people who are less conscious, versus you’ll hear one of us say and people in our sphere of influence that’s synchronicity.
Because in our minds we see this point as an awareness point, but also several things have happened outside of our sphere of influence that have brought this to our level of consciousness.
Harms: What’s the key difference between somebody feeling or thinking that something is a coincidence or has taken place by complete randomness versus somebody who says that’s synchronicity?
Dr Ro: If you’re very heady this is life changing. If you apply it to business, relationships, your work and generally to life, you will start to see things like the matrix that you would never see before, just as a result of listening to this podcast.
That’s how important I believe this recording is. Going back to your question I’m going to put a mirror up to you actually as a millennial. What point Harms, did you go from using the word coincidence and I was not brought up at a young age being taught by my mum of the concept of synchronicity.
I would use the language of coincidence and I don’t know if you felt the same?
Harms: It was the same for me.
Coincidence or it’s random or that’s funny that happened. I’ll take it step beyond that which was most of these occurrences that occurred I probably didn’t see.
Dr Ro:When did you feel there was a shift from you being aware that it’s not just a coincidence, or at least your belief system being aware isn’t a coincidence, to using the word synchronicity? Was it prior to when we met through the property training that you first experienced?
Was it a book you read or did it come after that?
Harms: Where it started to nurture was when I started to relearn, re-educate. I’d come out of school, went into an apprenticeship, and just went straight to work. That was my kind of journey at that stage of life, early 20s. I was missing all these synchronicities; they just didn’t exist to me. I completely missed them so that they didn’t exist to me. Then it came to a point as I started to read and understand and get a second phase education.
First it was wealth for me then it was a space for personal development. Then it started to become coincidences and I was told about that in this kind of reading or learning I’m doing and it’s kind of happening, but there’s no meaning associated with that.
Dr Ro: That goes back to the quote which was related to the lack of causal connection. The fact there is no connection in your mind of two things coming together.
Harms: The engineer part saying this doesn’t make sense. I need to pay no interest on this space.
Then came of course my synchronicity awareness with yourself and that’s when the word, the awareness was open. Suddenly you are aware of everything, you described that as a heightened awareness.
When you are at that heightened awareness, you start to realise that everything that’s happening around you is meaningful, it’s synchronistic and we are now in an amazing place to make decisions and choices.
Dr Ro: This is the challenge for anyone that is counter to this or maybe place the argument surely we can put me on anything and surely we can attach a connection to anything and that’s true as well.
The six degrees of separation is a famous concept in which you’re literally six degrees away from anybody in the world in terms of the president of the country in terms of your connections. We can place that in our view here talking about synchronicity.
I think this reflects back on your question: how do you define when synchronicity takes place versus coincidence and I think it comes down to consciousness. So what you’re saying is that the more you became aware of it, you then started to see these quote incidences of coincidences as actually, wait a minute, there’s several of the same type here and they seem to be aligned with a path I’m on.
Start to think about what I’m saying as in a nutshell, I believe it’s to do with a raised consciousness and awareness of what synchronicity is and then you unconsciously notice things that are really aligned with the path you’re on.
Is that what happened or were you consciously looking for it?
Harms: That’s exactly it you defined it excellently there and it’s not that I wake up in the morning and actively look, think of them as signals or beacons and they just appear; they flash as part of your day, week, months.
Previously, I wouldn’t have seen the signals. Imagine I’m receiving three red synchronistic flashes over the course of three weeks now. To me that’s a message.
Dr Ro: As you have also now consciously logged that and the fact it’s happened twice now you start asking questions.
Harms: I can only access those questions because I had this raised consciousness.
Dr Ro: On a personal level if I go back in my journey it probably started when I studied at Bradford university and in Leeds there was a library called JB Priestley library and I was reading on human psychology and hypnosis back in those days.
I still remember reading about consciousness and hypnosis and the unblocking of our unconscious mind and how when that happens, we start to see things and we become aware of what Carl Jung talked about which was synchronicity.
That was a minuscule awareness back then when I was 19, 20 years of age. I finished my degree and was embarking on my PhD and I remember starting to think about certain things or people and then I’d get a phone call and I’d say I was just thinking about you.
Previous to that I was like that’s a coincidence but now I’m like that’s synchronicity.
So it started at a young age and it started to give me the opportunity at a young age to start to map things. I didn’t know how to use it, but just being aware of it made me more conscious and it took another five, eight years of human development before I started to try and use those conscious synchronicities to go.
How can I make my life better from this?
But still I didn’t learn to apply that for half a decade because I was still too young and I didn’t have someone guiding me. I remember reading an extract from a book from Ron Hubbard and he talked about awareness I was at the time reading anything in that field.
But for me I wasn’t really differentiating about who or what people were writing I just wanted to be a sponge and there were several messages from the readings that I was getting which was actually if you become aware of things and they show up in your life if you can attach the meaning of synchronicity to that and you’re looking for something it might be that the clues are there. It’s like a road map and road signs and you miss the roadsides and you say I saw that but I didn’t really clock that was a road sign.
In the context of the Seekardo show today, think of synchronicity as road signs all aligning to tell you to take the next exit.
Harms: Because what could happen is you’re seeing those road signs more frequently, but instead of taking the left which is what it’s saying just go straight over.
Dr Ro: Or you’re chatting in your brain about I’ve got to speak to Brian, do this project and so you’re on the motorway thinking about part of the journey on, but you’re actually thinking so far ahead. Or it could be you’re on a highway but thinking about another city or a road in another city.
This is the difference between being conscious whereas someone is in their head so that heady part of us might be distracting us, shifting our focus and having the ability to keep that radar consciously out there and picking up on the road signs.
When you’re driving and chatting away and you’re so distracted in life that you miss those synchronistic signs.
Harms: Another way to describe that is linking to the word you said previously if you’re not conscious you’re unconscious and one of the ways you can be conscious is you’re either living in the past or the future, not in the present.
You’re just sleepwalking through life or worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet. Or you’re feeling anxious about something that happened yesterday. It’s never in the moment.
I think one takeaway would be to feel if you’re in the moment, you can then spot these.
Which leads me onto the next question which is how do we spot these?
And before we get to that point can we clear up any misconceptions around the world because it can be confused with other forms of manifestation, the book the secret, you wish for it and it appears, affirmations also may confuse people.
Dr Ro: You’re putting out into the conversation this whole concept of the law of attraction, quantum physics and there is and has been a massive movement and we believe this as well is that what you put out there as an intention you attract to your life.
I loved the secret when it first came out.
The concept of the law of attraction and again quantum physics is that two things resonating in harmony together will attract themselves, or resonate together. There was a period probably 2000, 2005 when the secret came out and a lot of people said, I don’t need to do much, I just need to sit, visualise and become wealthy.
Unfortunately they misinterpreted it to mean exactly that, as opposed to hold on a minute when an opportunity comes to me either synchronicity or these things coming together now I’ve got to act on it.
For a lot of people there was a lot of resistance because they were saying it doesn’t work when actually the concept is you put the law of attraction out there, then you get the synchronistic messages coming together as we talk about the road signs.
As you say, it’s not so much an individual moment. It’s a series of moments that come together. From a practical perspective the synchronistic experiences we have you have to have that awareness to pull them in.
Don’t confuse it with the overall philosophy of the law of attraction because it fits inside that. That’s my personal belief.
Harms: I think where the misconception came from was people focused on the headline which is you just put it out there and it will come.
Dr Ro: But they weren’t aligning with the synchronicity.
And not acting upon it and I think that’s a big thing. How do we help the listeners now we’ve cleared up the misconceptions around synchronicity?
What it is not is some kind of esoteric voodoo concept, so there will be people thinking I don’t believe in this at all.
Everything is just purely random coincidence, and this is a conversation you have to have with your belief system as well. Because there is an argument to say that and yes that could be scientifically the case, but it doesn’t take into account as human beings we are literally a walking set of memories.
Walking sets connections with human beings and that consciousness that resides in our cells, muscles, heart, soul, spirit and everything around us is so infinite in its ability that it can connect all these pieces together instantaneously no computer or anyone else will be able to do.
I can look at you Harms and have a completely different experience of it and say there is a whole series of synchronistic things going on here and for you nothing and that’s the beauty of the uniqueness of this.
I think the people who are negative or very heady, very logical do not attach any meaning to it will fumble along as you said blindly and will likely be the ones grumbling in a few years time saying I didn’t get the opportunity. I was alive at that same moment in history and you now are financially dependent help in your family. I’m still broke, stuck in a job I freaking hate.
That’s because they will not be open to these things. We’re not talking about voodoo here, we’re talking about an awareness and attaching the awareness to a meaning. When we become aware of something, fear for example, danger you say I need to avoid that, but equally it makes us aware of something so now we are looking for it unconsciously which is why you can go to bed with a question and wake up with an answer.
Because your brain is still working on it so there’s science as well as hanging onto a thread which is I believe in synchronicity, so if I believe in it let me start to look for something that reinforces that but being careful not to try and make everything synchronistic.
Harms: Using the meaning which is almost relevant to you, your path, your ambitions, your goals, what’s happening with you at that moment in life those are the messages and the road signs that will appear.
For the heady people once your consciousness is raised how frequent are these messages popping up in your life?
If an event keeps on occurring and you keep ignoring it what happens then? You go that 20, 30 years and do you think back? I know that was the opportunity if I just read the road sign and turned left could the course of my life have been different?
Dr Ro: You’re in the water and you’re drowning in you’re thinking if I had a life buoy. You’re looking down and trying to stay afloat, you’ve got an ankle strapped to a rope which is on brick and you’re swimming looking down thinking, I need a life buoy.
There is a life buoy literally floating by you and all you’re doing is looking down thinking consciously about staying afloat and in that moment trying to survive and two or three life buoys have floated by.
Those life buoys are synchronistic signals.
You can be so wrapped up in a situation that you do not allow yourself to be aware and be conscious around where those synchronicities could be coming.
Spotting it comes down to going out as a blank canvas.
Harms: This is not forced and not a to do list. This is not voodoo, not a logical thing you will go through.
Dr Ro: It’s a fine line. I think it starts with first of all going back to what we talked about before, which is coming back to who you are as a person. A lot of it comes down to stop treading on water, stop being on the running mill, take the moment to meditate.
Take a moment to pause in your day or moments during the course of the day, whether it’s in a car and you just relax a bit. Or in the middle conversation you start to allow other things to come into your awareness, but if you’re constantly tense, very angular in your thinking very heady there’s never a space for synchronicity to come in because you don’t allow that part.
The unconscious is fighting for space. But how can it get into your real-world experience if you’re constantly in your head, filling it with to-do’s and activities and survival.
Harms: It still happens to me where I go about my day. I drive to a destination, have a conversation with the people at the destination, go to the coffee shop, order to come home and I can’t really remember anything that happened.
It was all a bit of a blur, lots packed into the day. It was fast, I couldn’t quite remember the details of the conversation, and I didn’t really know if the people I was speaking to were for what I was talking about against it. I don’t remember if it was a male or female who served me at the coffee shop.
Dr Ro: Maybe in the meeting you’re thinking about the next meeting and the phone call conference you’ve got to do after that.
Harms: I don’t remember the drive home. That’s an example of me being unconscious, semi-asleep things are too busy, my days are packed. If it is like that everyday number one, what needs to change?
Dr Ro: In other words you haven’t allowed universally the space for them to occur and also your consciousness to breathe. I think this concept of where do we start, how do we spot them?
You’ve got to spot them by one going back to really get to know who you are as a person. Secondly is being clear on purpose and path to peace. So where are you heading at this moment in your life?
If you want to be a parent, for example, when Harminder was going through things with his baby Bodhi I could see his consciousness shifted towards what do I read? What do I need to know? Vaccine, no vaccine?
Breastfeeding, natural childbirth, how to be a great parent so your radar really broadened and you were tuning into even remote conversations that were happening.
So your awareness linked several things together and all of a sudden you start talking to parents that had natural births. It’s about making sure that your identity, sense of purpose and your path are all aligned and you’re not as you said being unconscious and just trying to try to get through a day.
Even in a five-minute conversation to allow your radar to be out there and that’s aligned with who you are as a person.
Harms: If you think about how amazing this can really get it becomes a moment to moment literally being, you’re then aware of everything around you and then it’s a case of aligning the synchronicity with the two p’s that you spoke about.
Dr Ro: Also as you’re talking about it.
There’s a chap here whose partner she does kitchen fittings and in that moment we wanted to get the kitchen sorted out and it just so happened that in a conversation it came through and he said my other half of my life has a kitchen fitting company. In my brain that’s my synchronicity.
When something gets reinforced like one mile to the junction, 500 metres, you go there’s a reason this happened now two or three times with the same person or the same message and that’s when you start to align.
Remember if you’ve got no frame of reference your purpose, your path and who you are as a person you’ve got nothing to pin those synchronicities to.
If you’re on multiple tracks and roads and you’re not on a clear path then what happens is the signs don’t have any meaning.
To describe circumstances appear meaningfully related yet that causal connection, they become meaningfully related if you’re on the right path and even if they don’t have a causal connection to matter because now the signs could be different colours.
Or your phone flashes up and it says take the next left.
Harms: It gets so intense that somebody may be thinking what does this look like? Once a phone flashes your satnav says we’re redirecting you need to take a left and then suddenly on your Bluetooth someone says I’m at a coffee shop I know it’s a bit random, but would you like to meet up and that’s exactly on the path the satnav pointed you on.
Dr Ro: That’s a classic example of when several things are aligned all of a sudden you go shit that is more than a coincidence.
I think if we take an individual or incident, yes, we could label a coincidence, think of it like this there are three folders one you’ve got coincidence. The second folder is two coincidences and the third folder is synchronicity.
What if you didn’t even label it coincidence, maybe something happened and you just made it in your awareness and you say, okay well that’s interesting that’s kind of in alignment with where I’m going. That’s getting me to think about something different now.
Going back to your question about how we spot it, I don’t think there’s one single way to spot it. I just feel from my own experiences don’t label anything, just become aware of it and ask yourself the question, does this have meaning to the path, the purpose and who I am as a person?
Does it fit into the values I’ve got now and the conversations I’m having?
We’re looking to find out if the jigsaw pieces fit into the big picture of who I am. If you don’t have an idea of what that picture is, it’s random.
Harms: If we take everything we’ve spoken about so far it’s almost giving your practical application and how to move the feeling of your traction to the next step.
There’s a big question that we haven’t answered, which is what’s the point of synchronicity?
How do I take advantage of it?
Because I feel like we’ve got various different examples of visual tools in order to help define synchronicity.
Dr Ro: Let’s say to everybody there are different levels of synchronicity so there could be you thinking about going for natural childbirth with your child.
This is Harminder and his lovely wife Geena, were there points on that journey where you happened to be suddenly aware of other people talking about it or conversations when you were out?
So when that happened, there may have just simply being a series of little confirmations
of a belief, visual path that you’re on a purpose that you set for yourself and this is confirming that and maybe bringing more detail to that jigsaw piece.
That’s one end of the spectrum, the other end of the spectrum is where Harminder has been thinking about something and sketching out a visual for his future.
All of a sudden people are talking about it, it’s flashed up on the news, it comes up on your phone it says click on here there is a seminar being run about it.
That’s the other extreme where you really weren’t looking, you weren’t consciously looking it was just an idea. Whereas with childbirth actually you were, you started to look and those intentions made you much more aware of those synchronicities.
The benefit to you, then, is to start to link it with where you are at that moment in time. If it’s an idea in your mind it’s like, okay, I need to take this further now. Someone conceptually got an idea about something and they’re starting to see these little messages coming up. They feel like someone is trying to tell them something. I need to act on this.
The benefit is it moves us away from or towards something that we have become aware of because we’ve got our sense of purpose, our values, identity we’re breathing as you talked about the moment and now, I’m on the path I want to be on.
It happened to me today.
I was at a café near our house and a guy started talking about personal training and I was like we’re thinking about doing that at home. He used to do Harley Street and now he’s moved to the area and is looking to do it with people locally.
Literally we want to convert our garage to a gym and 10 days ago we were saying when can we get that done.
Harms: Now there is a guy, fast forward six weeks, we are close friends. I’m also telling you I’ve joined a gym, and then I think it was a month before that we did a podcast on the three core areas that you need to have a well-rounded health.
Your synchronicity for personal training started a while back so I’m spotting synchronicity and that actually played a part. Now you’ve got a personal trainer in your local town.
Dr Ro: My daughter goes climbing as you know and I said it would be great if she could have a friend of a similar age and we go there and randomly a parent was there who said we were going to come at a different time but we came at this time and they went off climbing together.
They’re both the same age and then we connected, and these things happen when everything is aligned with where you’re going, you’ve just got to be aware of it.
Tune into it so that the benefit is the minute it has a meaning in your life otherwise it isn’t really a synchronicity as you haven’t set the scene. You haven’t got the pieces there as it says non-causal connections you’ve just got this blank board and a bunch of jigsaw pieces, many of which you don’t have.
But the law of attraction is going to bring those to you.
Harms: It gives everybody another way to think about this because it’s not just a simple ABC, step-by-step plan, you can’t go looking for it. But what you can do is set the frame to raise your awareness of consciousness.
All those things that we mentioned, and I think that we are still repeating them to show that’s the key here to get to the point where you can actually spot the synchronicity and then act on them.
Dr Ro: You did the same thing when you had your child and you were aware of these conversations and you took some information from me and other people and you were doing your own research and the more those signs come up it reinforces the belief that you have, or it helps you decide against something as well.
Harms: I want to flash forward and we’ve spoken about the benefit now, how you can start to build a jigsaw piece, but the long-term benefit is that picture that you had in your mind and your intention is complete.
We both said it in the previous podcast that if you don’t take the right turn in your life, 20, 30 years down the line your life will be drastically different to what it would have been if you just said I’m going to see what the synchronicities have to offer.
Dr Ro: Because alternatively your jigsaw piece is being built by somebody else meaning that if you’re in a job or a career they will define when you have to work, you have reduced income, or you can’t climb the corporate ladder because there is not enough space in the company.
These massive jigsaw pieces come into place that are defined by the world that you’re in where you are now unconsciously just fumbling along as you talked about.
That is still a path and actually oddly enough, there are still synchronicities on that path as well. It just means that you might just unconsciously take them without realising it because they’re the easiest ones.
Often synchronicities don’t lead to the easiest choices.
Which is why we can sometimes miss them because we’re still head down trying to paddle.
Harms: In your job you or career and a job vacancy come up now at the same time you’ve been seeing synchronistic messages where you should be starting your business the easiest option on what Ro has said is I’m going to apply for the vacancy.
Dr Ro: Let’s take the analogy of swimming.
The life buoy is floating by and you see in the corner of your eye but you’re thinking I’ve got to keep wiggling my legs, because it’s an easier thing to do. Maybe that’s what you know and it’s the most comfortable thing you’re surviving on, you’re paying the bills. There might be risk attached to leap reaching out, grabbing the life buoy as you said there. Or starting another business.
Harms: When we really dig deep those two almost conflicting opposite messages, one with a low frequency one with a high-intensity frequency is the sign you need.
Dr Ro: Sometimes it might be a tiny little synchronistic sign and it flashes away.
So you take the easy option, you take the job vacancy and are happy for a moment.
Then I bump into you and I’m older than you and you’re still in that engineering job and we meet in a café and I speak to you and say I used to be an engineer but I started my own business. And I say it was the best thing I ever did, got to go now as I’m meeting a client. At that point it’s what you do with that second synchronicity which is slightly louder than the first one.
Harms: It is pushing a different button because depending on what timeframe you are on here that could feel like regret. You could live with that regret or it takes that synchronicity and flip it on its head.
Dr Ro: You could have reached out and taken my card and said can we talk about it or you let it go and get back into your office because you’re rushing to get back. That’s now five, six, eight months later another synchronicity comes up, maybe a friend of yours you see on the news or it might be an article that says more people are going to start your own business and you think that’s what I’ve been thinking about and there is the third one.
It talks about remuneration and how much you can make and it’s also a bigger sign, but there is a point where those synchronicities stop because you’ve now taken the path you’ve been talking about for so long that you’ve got further and further away from the junction.
There’s nothing to tell you like a navigator will do, a GPS system will say take the next turn and do a U-turn. This is what Harms is saying: the easy path versus the hard one the minute you stay on the old path the GPS will take you on another path and there will be another sign, but those jigsaw pieces get smaller, signs get quieter until finally it loses its destination.
Harms: The synchronicities just disappear.
Dr Ro: Until you start with another intention, another purpose, redefining, turning point, whatever you want to call it and you say, I was thinking about that five years ago.
Harms: Honestly feel blessed and feel lucky that we live in this consciousness where they will still appear, the messages will come as that’s law of attraction.
Dr Ro: That’s where it does fit into law of attractions because as we said it fits inside the concept of the attraction, meaning that when you put the intention out there and you understand what that path is and what the overall picture is, but you’ve got to now string them together and that’s really the next step.
Harms: Which leads us nicely onto as you said what do we do next?
What do we do with synchronicity?
Dr Ro: Let’s take a practical example of going back to when you were looking at childbirth and I know it’s slightly different because you’re in that conscious place, but there was without doubt and I remember you said you had friends that also did natural childbirth.
What are a couple of things you immediately started to do? You had almost made that decision already but the universe with law of attraction and synchronicities will bring other things to you. What was your approach to it?
What was your first reaction?
Did you ignore those synchronicities or did you latch onto them? Because that’s really the first thing you have to do when a synchronicity comes along.
Harms: Before childbirth just for clarity and before even the conversation of children ignored any of these messages.
That’s a classic example of it not being in your system.
Not in my radar, not my path at the moment, but when it did become our path and we discovered that natural childbirth was available, it was a choice then every message every roadside that appeared it was I need to look at this.
I need to look at this and I need to ask questions around this message I’m seeing. Is this right for us?
Dr Ro: Harms has known me for so many years that he has witnessed us going through that with our kids so you were aware of it, as a couple without children it just wasn’t in your radar at the time.
The minute that switched I noticed that the conversations were emerging all over the place.
Harms: Because Ro we’d been at dinner way before as a parent and I remember briefly the first synchronistic sign happened, which was when you think about children thinking about natural birth, it’s something we did.
Dr Ro: Without it being any sort of like you must do this. Just something to be aware of for you and your lovely wife. She’s connected universally and when Stina was describing it you could see her getting excited by the idea. It was a passing two or a three-minute conversation but you weren’t in that space at the time.
Harms: But that was the first synchronicity, the fact that we met you to have that conversation was a serious synchronicity.
Dr Ro: Did that then trigger anything after that?
Or was it later on when you then brought that empty jigsaw puzzle out and said we need to fill this.
Harms: I would say when the conversation occurred around children, parenting, family planning then it was anything, remember what Ro said as we have to explore it. we weren’t at the stage of exploring at that moment when the family planning started now we started to look at the road signs. You used the word latch as a hook.
Dr Ro: Practically for people a couple of examples of what that might have been.
Was it a text message from a friend, a video? Was it a book that suddenly came into your awareness when you’re going through Amazon and normally you skim by it?
So what would be an example of something you latched onto?
Harms: I would say one the intensity of the conversations with yourself increased.
Dr Ro: On that theme if you remember one of the conversations was breastfeeding. We went for a coffee and here is a classic example and you were like oh my god this is exactly where we’re at right now.
Harms: We’re having a conversation about breastfeeding as parents and in our culture it’s just not openly spoken, not familiar. There’s Ro and I talking about it openly, freely as we approach a café.
This lovely lady with her son just starts to breastfeed, really openly.
Here’s the synchronicity: we just moved to the area where we are looking at natural childbirth so here we are arriving at Café lady opening breastfeed, which is an amazing synchronicity. It is like we’re in a place where this is cool, this is the norm.
Dr Ro: For you as a young Asian man what did that immediately do to your jigsaw piece, your path, vision?
Because what you need to realise is that when that happens is, what do you do now with that jigsaw piece?
Harms: I went home, spoke to my wife and said you won’t believe it. We are in the right place and the jigsaw piece starts to form. In our example, it could have been a worry about breastfeeding.
Could we do it outside? What do we do when family comes?
Actually, there’s some synchronistic signs here that are saying it’s fine, just crack on. Then we had the natural childbirth scenario, had a conversation that is to feel that part parenting jigsaw puzzle.
Then we have the natural childbirth and we’re in an amazing location in the UK where when we started to have the conversation with hospitals they said we encourage natural childbirth. We went to the hospital. There are posters in the hospital we visited.
Dr Ro: Which you would’ve never seen before as you weren’t looking for them. They would have been signs as well.
Harms: Here is an interesting style of synchronicity that occurred which was that there was various people who were pregnant in our sphere of influence, friends groups, also online via WhatsApp chat and we started to hear pregnancy stories where somebody hadn’t done it naturally and they wished they had.
They were openly sharing that with my wife I was aware of natural childbirth but opted not to go for it if I could go back I would.
Dr Ro: This is the whole point that is a synchronistic message albeit in a different form. Similarly, we had people say really you want to go and do that?
We got the opposite; this is where it’s interesting because you can get the opposite to what you want. It’s not just about signals that come up that tell you this is the way you want to go, turn left.
It could be one that says don’t turn right. So in other words, it’s like a sign that goes okay somebody is challenging that belief and we had that a lot. There was one lady who said I wanted to take drugs to numb myself to feel any of that and I remember us thinking that’s completely the opposite to our belief we don’t have a drug going into our child.
Stina said she still wanted to feel the experience of giving birth. So what synchronicities did for us was a different type of synchronicity which we were able to put an interpretation on to reinforce our belief that this is where we want to go. If anything, it strengthened us in the path and it stopped us turning right.
Harms: I think you described it well which was do not turn right, because that’s exactly how it shows up.
Dr Ro: It’s a challenge of your beliefs. If you’re not tuned into synchronicities it could make them go. Maybe I should listen to them. It’s my aunt or mum.
Harms: If you experience those and they come from different sources, different places at a high end infrequency then of course open your eyes to maybe this original path I thought may not be the right one.
It’s not just coming from one person, you’ve got to be really conscious about when you shift your path and you’re anchoring to your belief system.
Dr Ro: It is differentiating between the warning sign the one-off and reinforcing your strength or direction versus actually there’s a lot of warning signs here and they are also something I need to stop, press pause and think about.
That’s the power of being aligned to start with.
I think someone that hasn’t got a stake in the ground, stake being these are my beliefs, values, this is my sense of purpose. If you don’t have that stake in the ground keep moving whatever you have got.
Harms: That’s a completely different challenge and that’s basically starting a new journey and stopping it. It’s like you turn right and right and back where you started so that is the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve here as part of being aware of synchronicities.
Dr Ro: So first of all be aware of them and then ask yourself the question and if you’re not as clear about something i.e. that concept of I want to start a business, get into a new relationship, and then the synchronicities come up ask the question, what is the synchronicity telling me?
Is it reinforcing the belief I have and telling me this is exactly the right path or is it asking me the question of what I want to do?
If so, take it, maybe it’s helping refine your beliefs or your vision of what you want and then place that jigsaw piece into the picture.
A synchronicity can also be a meeting of someone you’ve talked about before, and you go that’s a coincidence and walkway.
There’s this chap and I say how often do you come here and he says regularly and I say okay I might chat to you in the future they look to you as a trainer that enables me to now create a connection. It keeps the option open so it puts the jigsaw piece in the jigsaw, but maybe has not placed it yet.
This is one of the things that I’m going to keep on the side of. That’s what you need to do with these synchronicities and then you start to implement them. I bring them in and start to put some practical measures behind rather than just going.
That’s another coincidence.
We have to be mindful of what they are and what meaning they have to that particular moment in time. That’s how I would start and it’s quite a convex process. But it’s not that complicated if you just simply bring them together and keep asking yourself the question, what does this mean? Is it reinforcing the path I’m on?
Do I need to double check any of my beliefs or the decisions I’m making?
Do I need to reach out to somebody?
It could be a sign just checking in with something or somebody and I go okay, this seems to be a technical thing coming up a lot who do I know and I go and reach out.
Harms: We’ve so far today in this episode spoken about what synchronicity is, we introduced it as the Carl Jung young philosophy and added our experience and version on what synchronicity is, especially what it’s not.
We cleared up misconceptions about how you spot it. What it really looks like and then once you take advantage of it how does it really help you? And then what do you do next with them?
Ro explained collecting them and once you’re aware of how to collect them and ask those powerful questions which allows you to get a step forward.
Dr Ro: A great way to process this maybe at the end of the day if you’ve had two or three synchronicities just praise and do a ten minute meditation just reflect on the day, but put your meditation focus on those synchronicities.
See where they resonate.
Do they resonate in your stomach, your heart?
Maybe just unconsciously allow them to move around or it could even be that you just leave them out there floating and allow it and just say to yourself while I sleep I’ll let these jigsaw pieces fall into place and allow that to be a memory and an unconscious message that when you wake up in the morning you go I can see this, because you’ve allowed them to fall into place.
As opposed to them spinning around, but just give yourself a chance.
The start of a day is good, but I find if I’ve had a few synchronicities I’ll just give myself a chance to pause because if we’re still busy and we’re packing our diary for the next day those pieces can disappear.
Harms: Final words from myself speaking from my early 30s. Now it started to really resonate with me in my late 20s to mid-20s. I became aware of the subject. Late 20s was okay, I can actually use these synchronicities for me to better myself and in any area.
Just focus on the first element which is just raising awareness just by raising awareness and becoming aware that synchronicities do exist.
They are all around we don’t know when they’re going to pop-up, but when they do they’re for you.
Dr Ro: Just go out there and imagine them just being there all the time as we talked about.
The lines of disconnected or non-connected experiences that we have and then allow yourself to put meaning against them.
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