Hey it’s Dr Ro here, hope you’re well.
I’m recording this live from Denmark. It is beautiful, it is a blue sky, I’m getting messages coming in from people.
I wanted to record this for you because one of the biggest challenges I think for a lot of people when they’re looking into the next year is how are they going to achieve their goals, how are they going to get those goals in an efficient way?
I just want to tackle the subject briefly this morning whilst I’m looking at the blue sea and blue skies above me and I know how difficult this can be for a lot of people, because we are aspirational at the end of the year and we start a New Year, and we reflect on all the things that have gone well in the past year.
We look at things that haven’t worked so well and then we look ahead into next year and we say to ourselves, “Right what can I do next year to become even more effective, how can I be more efficient? How can I achieve those goals I set myself?”
That’s fantastic and it’s really important for everyone to do because if we aren’t steering into the New Year with some sense of direction, we are just going to meander and become this wide river that just loses direction and loses momentum.
I want to talk to you just briefly this morning, not so much about what you can do but more about who you need in your journey as part of your journey and that’s the thing I think a lot of people forget to do.
Whenever I’m running events, whether it’s events to do with personal development or whether it’s events to do with communication, or events to do with property investing for example, there are two groups of people typically.
There are those that come to the event and they’re sort of coming because they’ve been dragged along a little bit and they’re being cajoled there.
They don’t really need to be there, but they thought they would come because they’re pleasing their partner.
Then there’s the other type that come and they want to grow, they want to learn, they want to expand, they want to become better as human beings. Whether it’s the financial side, business side, property side, personal development side.
Those people are more open to having people help them whereas the ones that are dragged there, they have the DIY attitude. Which is, I can do it myself.
In reality anybody that has ever achieved anything at any level has not just done it on their own.
They have done it with the right support around them, the right network around them, the right people around them, the right coaches, the right mentors etcetera.
My question is, as you look into 2020 who do you believe in this last year that had you had them on your team, had you had them supporting you.
Had you had them guiding you, had you had them giving you knowledge, experience, had you had them just there emotionally supporting you whatever it is, because I don’t know what area of your life you want to work on next year and that you feel you could have done better this year.
Who could those people have been?
Could it have been a professional? Somebody you need to engage that you didn’t do because you thought you could do it yourself.
I get people for example, in the real estate business in property decide to take on projects completely for themselves doing everything themselves.
Everything from the refurb, the electrics, placing the tenants in place etcetera. “I don’t need to pay anybody; I’ll do it myself.”
But of course the number of hours they spent doing that and the time they spend doing that tends to take up so much of their emotional time and physical time, they’ve lost money they could have made doing something else.
So, you’ve got to move the ego aside and that’s something I’ve learned over the years and being a teacher being somebody now in my 50s, over the years what I’ve discovered as I’ve got older you carry a lot of knowledge with you, a lot of experience with you and you tend to be in that headspace where you just want to guide people and get into your business and do it yourself.
That’s easy to do if you’ve got a lot of experience and knowledge and you are very skilled in a specific area, however, that may not be the best use of your time. And if you haven’t read it there is a great book called The E-Myth, you’ve probably heard me hammer on about it if you have come to an event with me.
It’s a book I read years ago, The E-Myth by Michael Gerber. He talks in there about the entrepreneur myth and essentially people trying to do everything in their business they’re never going to expand because all they ever try and do is control, control, control, control.
And the problem with wrapping your arms around the business if it is trying to grow and you’re the one trying to hold onto that business, it’s never really going to expand very big.
So start thinking about the different areas of your life, whether it’s in the personal development area like your health, whether it’s in relationships, whether it’s parenting. Whether it’s to do with expanding your business or your career, whether it’s to do with your property business.
Whether it’s to do with trading the stock markets. It doesn’t matter what it is really, ask yourself a simple question:
In order for me to get from here to here, what are the gaps I need to cross and who are the people that can help me cross those gaps?
Put ego aside. Put that sense of pride aside, who can help you?
Now if it’s guidance, then you’re talking about coaches, you’re talking about mentors, you’re talking about people that are more experienced and of course, you’re going to have to dig into your pocket to pay for those people.
And hey, you know what, you’ve got to weigh up if it’s worth paying them versus doing it yourself, and if it took you an extra two years to achieve a goal, a coach or mentor can help you achieve in say six months. Then in my view that’s massively worth it.
That investment of money is worth it because if you think about it from your perspective, if you become financially free and you’re making 50 to £100,000 a year, if it took an extra two years to get there that is an extra hundred to two hundred grand it’s cost you to get there in time.
Whereas if you paid somebody to help you get there they’re going to help you get there a lot quicker and the skill sets are going to accelerate you to another level altogether.
But if it is to do with health and you’re saying, “Well I don’t really need a trainer, I can go work out myself. I don’t need somebody to guide me from a diet perspective.” Then it could be that the long-term detrimental effect on your health so much, that had you had that person earlier they could have helped you become more vibrant, more energised, sleep better and feel better.
What’s my point?
My point is, ask yourself an honest question.
Who do I need to have around me next year to get to where I need to get to quicker, more efficiently, more effectively, safely and you know what with a greater sense of fun as well.
They could include coaches, mentors, friends.
Who do you have around you that you trust that you can have maybe a more honest conversation with. It might be that you need more support from your family next year, might be that you’re a parent or soon to be a parent and you realise you’re going to need some support.
I know people that are having children next year and they’re going to be in for some great surprises because when you have kids, the things that you were able to do so easily before by quickly dropping out everything and going out doing something, you can’t do that easily now.
You have other joys, other great experiences but there may be certain things that you need to think about, because when it hits you and you realise, “Oh my gosh I can’t do this right now I need to have somebody to support me and then I can go and do that.”
That’s great, it’s planning ahead, starting to think differently.
That’s the main message here.
I would start with creating a list of the different areas of life that you have aspirations for 2020.
And then what I would do is start to ask myself a question, who are the people I need in that journey, on that journey, alongside me, or above me guiding me so I can make sure I get there in a way that makes it enjoyable, makes it fun.
Make it a journey that you can enjoy, not just the financial side of it, the emotional side of it, the spiritual side of it.
But also gives you a chance to be present because that’s the other challenge of course is that, if you are busy, busy, busy and you’re trying to do everything, “I’ll do this, I’ll do that.”
The challenge you’ve got is ultimately you’re not going to have the time to be present with yourself. The other benefit to having support from other people and actually giving yourself some time back is the opportunity to be present, the opportunity to have time to enjoy moments like this where it is absolutely beautiful.
So that’s the main message, I’m going to keep hammering on about this over the next year. If you haven’t joined me on the Seekardo podcast, come and join me with Harminder Toor and go to growthtribes.com. You can go and find out that we have an amazing community of people that support each other and also we have a vault there and in the vault there are different video series.
There is a video series on time management, how to be more effective with your time. There is another video series on balance, life balance, and how do we get more life balance, how do we get more time back with families and in our workplace. And a part of that is having the right people around you.
The other series you might want to consider for 2020 of course, is the purpose series which is a whole video series on how to create a greater sense of purpose in anything you’re doing.
I’m sending you lots of love, I’m sending you all the best wishes for this end of 2020.
I think as well as it comes to the end of this year, if there is anybody and here is a personal message to all.
If there’s anybody in your life you haven’t connected back with do reach out.
There are a couple of close friends of mine and I haven’t been able to reach out to in the last couple of months and I made a point, I made some notes last night of four or five people that I really want to reach out and say hi to. Who I want to connect back to.
That’s another thing who do you want to have in your life who you’ve missed around you for a while?
Who do you want to have in your life that you feel you haven’t connected back with that you need to spend more time with?
One of those is a good friend of mine called Corrie and if he is watching I’m reaching out to him, I love him very much. He had a lovely baby boy last year and I haven’t had the chance to connect with him very much this year, so he is one of the people I’ll be reaching out to. Some of you know Corrie very well.
But you’ve got to think back and think about who you know in your life on a personal level that you’d like to spend more time with next year as well.
It’s not just on a professional level here, we are talking about just in life generally, because it goes quick. And 40 years ago my father passed away and I was reflecting on it this year.
I was 13 years of age and it goes fast and I think as a parent you see that in your kids as well, you realise how rapidly it goes.
So there is an opportunity to have more people in your life to help you get a better quality of life. It’s worth thinking about that as well.
It’s Dr Ro signing out, have an amazing Christmas and I shall speak to you before the year has ended and the New Year starts.