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How to handle early setbacks at the start of the year

Hi it’s Dr Ro here, first of all I just want to wish you a happy New Year!

It is 2020, can you believe it?

It has moved up so quickly.

I’m just sending you this message before we head back to the UK, the first thing is happy New Year and the second thing is I wanted to share something with you.

Because this question came up off the back of I think it might have been one of the Seekardo podcasts that I just did recently with Harminder Toor on goal setting, or it might be to do with a short video, or a live video I did over the Christmas period. 

I had a couple of questions from people saying, “Hey Dr Ro what you do you do? How you deal with a situation when you start the New Year you’re all excited, you’re excited and pumped about starting the New Year.”

You’ve got all these great goals and aspirations and then you get hit with an early setback. Something that fucks you up, something that comes second, third, day of the year, first week of the year and then you get slapped with a complete setback.

And you haven’t really got into your stride for the New Year yet, you’re still celebrating from the end of last year. You’re aspirational, you’re pumped.

How do you deal with that?

I thought it was quite an interesting question because exactly that’s happened to me literally today and yesterday. We’ve got a valuation going on one of the properties and what happened is it came back with a structural question mark over the integrity of the property, and the result of that is the valuation has come back with a zero valuation. Which is really odd. 

Now we are obviously going to look into that, but I want to talk to you about how you deal with these things when they hit you early.

Remember when you’re in the flow of something as human beings it’s a little bit like a steam train or a locomotive, or a road train in Australia pulling a whole bunch of different carriages. 

Initially there’s inertia and inertia exists within all of us. You get this revving up and you’re all set to go, you put your foot down on full throttle, going into first gear.

But when you’re pulling a mass, and the mass are your aspirations, goals, or the people you’ve got around you possibly. 

Plus you’ve got to move this initial step forward, what can often happen is you haven’t picked up momentum yet. So when you face a challenge or a goal, or a setback when it hits you, and you’re in full flow, you’ve got up 20,30,40,50,60 miles an hour and you’re in a huge juggernaut and you’re moving with mass now.

You’ve got this consistency of weight and speed behind you, when you hit a setback you tend to plough through it. 

The reason for that is because you’ve got incredible momentum. Which is why when people come to see me, whether it’s the total transformation seminars, keep an eye out for that by the way because we’ve got a really exciting one coming up this year. Going to be announcing that, listen out for that.

Turning point has finished. However, I’m excited to tell you we have an event beyond turning point, that’s not the name of it but that’s effectively what it’s going to be and I’m really pumped about that. 

So start spreading the word. 

For those of you that haven’t been able to come and join me in the past, or wanting to, or have been with me but want to come through another experience, look out for that one.  

The point here is that as you move forward into the year you’re going to hit a point of absolute momentum. So when something hits you like a setback you plough through it.

But when you’re just starting out you’re in your first gear, just in the first few days in the year and you hit something and boom. You haven’t quite got up to speed yet, you haven’t hit terminal velocity, you haven’t got the momentum and you get hit with a setback.

There are four things I’m going to suggest that you do and this happens any time by the way, but it’s certainly useful right now.

So the minute you get a setback first thing to do is get a piece of paper, ideally get your journal, if you’ve got a business journal whatever it is, a project journal. Get a pen out or get your stylus out however you operate and write down on paper and define exactly what the problem is.

Rather than mull over it in your brain, mull over it in your heart, your stomach starts to churn and get all anxious about it. Rather than get too wrapped up in all the possibilities in your head that typically we do go, we tend to go, “What about this? What if this happens? Shit, shit, how do I deal with this?”

Actually capture it on paper and define it clearly.

This is the situation. So in my case value has come back, put a question mark over the structural integrity of the property, this has led to a question mark on the valuation.

At this stage not prepared to value the property and is suggesting the following things. Okay so there is a definition there of whatever the problem is.

Now that’s step one.

By the way when you do that you tend to go like this, “Okay so that’s the challenge I’m facing. It’s down on paper, I can actually see it.” If this makes any sense give me a wave or something. But you actually let off steam. 

The problem with an issue when it hits you early and you’re in the process of just picking up momentum is that you’re looking ahead to try and get direction to where you want to get. “ It’s 2020, I want to plough into the future.”

And suddenly this thing comes right in front of your line of sight and all you can see is nothing. Your brain is going and you start to look down and before you know it the reason that you lose that momentum is because, think about it for a minute.

When you look down, you tend to take your energy away from the flow moving forward and that just hits you with a curveball.

So capturing it on paper moves it off to the side, allows you to keep looking forward but it allows you to keep part of your focus on what I do next. 

That’s step one.

Step two is, have I got some influence?

Can I have some control over this problem?

Is this an external problem that I’ve got no control over or is this a setback I’ve absolutely got no control over? 

Or do I have something in this situation I can control?

Now this is a really valuable self-coaching question. I can promise you this, any time you’re faced with a challenge like this, if you can look at it and self-coach and say, “Have I got the opportunity here? Do I have the capacity, the aptitude, is this within my control?”

I’m just giving lots of different questions I might ask if I was coaching now and if you join me on the Seekardo, those of you that haven’t joined before or haven’t been through it, go to www.growthtribes.com.

Go have a look there, and if you get a chance cone and spend some time in the Seekardo community with me there. 

Because this is where I can do coaching with you, I’m actually going to be doing this next week with a gentleman. He’s got a coaching session with me live in front of the group there online and we are going to be talking about money.

I tend to ask these questions and if you drill through enough questions, you’ll unlock a person’s challenge. 

I’m asking the question; do I have control here?

Is this something I can influence?

Actually yes there is.

There is something I can do specifically here to help, control or bring this situation back into my control, that’s the second step.

The third step involves a who and what.

Who needs to be involved to help me solve this and what does that involvement mean. So what do I need to do and what do they need to do?

This is a really big step because it might be that you’re absolutely at capacity right now, you’re starting off your journey in 2020 there’s loads of stuff going on. And you’re thinking what do I need to do?

In fact when I got the message about an hour ago from my PA, this is the situation: it’s just come up, what do you think Ro, what do you want to do?

I immediately went back and said okay, I thought of the following a,b,c. What that has enabled her to do in my absence whilst I’m overseas here is to start to pick up the reins and she’s been able to take action. 

So my step three is who can get involved with this and what can I ask them to get their opinion on it.

Now by the time I get back to the UK hopefully we will have the next steps forward, because ultimately there is a solution to every problem. It’s just knowing what the stages are and the steps you need to go through to overcome that.

So step one define it, be clear on it.

Step two can I have some control over it, have some impact on it. Is this something outside my control or inside my control? If so, what would those things be?

Step three then is, who needs to be involved and what needs to be done by them or by me?

The fourth thing is, what is the next step? What is the next thing I can do simply to move forward, to get some action. To physically get momentum, because I’ve taken my foot off the throttle now and I’m looking down, now I’ve got to go back up. 

What’s the next step to get my accelerator down to start to move forward?

What is the single next step that helps me overcome that challenge, that problem?

If you do that it will genuinely help you overcome these early setbacks and I promise you, if you set goals you’re not going to have any setbacks if you set goals.

You’ve got no story to tell at the end of this year if you’ve set no goals to start with.

Think about this for a moment, if you get to the end of 2020 and you somebody goes, “How was your year?”

And you go, “Yeah fine, I started the year, I kind of ambled through the year, and I got to the end of the year and nothing really. No setbacks, no challenges didn’t do much.”

That’s not really a story.

If you want to tell a story, you’re going to have to have challenges that are part of nature, it is the classic movie script. The dream, struggle and then victory at the end.

So as you start the year off with your dreams anticipate there will be challenges and struggles and setbacks. 

If you get the chance to join me please do so, look out for the up and coming events that are coming up soon. I’m really pumped for the very fact that we are going to be doing this incredible personal development event.

I haven’t done one for three years now, we had 300 people in the room last time we did this, a lot of people are asking. So start to spread the word and secondly come and join me at www.growthtribes.com or go to my website www.drro.tv or @drrotv if you want to come and see me on Instagram as well. 

Have a great start to the New Year and now you’ve got four steps to overcome setbacks. 

Dr Ro signing out.

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