Powerful Technique: Remove Emotional Attachment From Financial Decisions

Right just very quickly shout out some of the challenges that you have seen, experienced yourself with money.

Anything at all.

Money management for example, what are some of the challenges we’ve had?

“Not enough”

Haha, not enough money so a feeling of lack of it. At the end of the month or halfway through the month? Or a general feeling of lack of money?

So is your belief system, “oh don’t worry I can work in it, I’ll just make it.”

“Exactly. That’s what I fight myself with. I’ll say yeah I’ll do a budget but then when it comes to it and I’m going over that budget I’m like, well actually it’s going to make me a better person.”

Okay, this is interesting because years ago I stood up at a Robbins event and the speaker was asking about what’s your attitude towards money if you’ve got no money? And I stood up and said if I’ve got no money I see that as a great opportunity to push myself and find other ways to make money.

Does that make sense?

That was my attitude.

So I said to her I saw this when I was down here as an opportunity. And she said, well why do you see it as an opportunity?

And I said because it means I can grow, I can more money in business and then if something goes wrong I know I can just step back again and do the same thing again.

She said that’s a self-destruct mechanism. 

She says what you are doing is you’re adding a lot of pleasure and a lot of sense of ego, and a lot of meaning to this here. 

Does that make any sense?

So I had a belief.

A completely self-destructive belief that when I’m down here even though I’m spending to get there it’s okay because guess what, I can go and do another deal, I can make some more money.

And that’s to get me back up to here. But instead of creating a new set of patterns carrying on up, I’d get to a point where I’d spent or do something silly and then it would take me down to here. And I’d go, oh no don’t worry last time I did this I’ll do it again.

Does that make sense?

So if this was a stock market we would call that a channel. You’d be channelling between the two. 

And that became one of my mechanisms for years. So I think that’s what’s going on with you.

“And that’s exactly what’s going on for me. I’m going up in my business and my business is increasing and now I’m like here is the excuse. I’m going to spend to do the kitchen and bathroom for my wife so she is happy, and to do this I’m going back down with money. Not really, down but I am going down.”

So are you doing that spend to please somebody else?

“Yeah, my wife and…”

How many times has he mentioned his wife? So make a note of that. I think your belief system is linked to a need to please other people.

Who gets that by the way?

I think that’s part of your nature, let’s have a chat later, maybe I’ll pull you up later to tackle this. But that’s important, if you don’t break that pattern it’s going to carry on. And although you might earn more money you might spend more, because the next time you spend it will be a bigger spend. 

So instead of buying a small car this time around a ford focus whatever, because that’s your affordability. Next time you get to another level it becomes a Mercedes or something bigger. 

So each time you spend, you do it on the basis well I did it last time. I’ll fix that and do it again.

Does that make sense?

This is the problem we’ve got in the system.

So why do we have a system?

You’ve led me nicely into this which is great, I should bring you more often. 

So we have a system to emotional attachment.

Who does tend to spend and afterwards go oh shit I’ll make it up somewhere else? I think it’s human nature. 

So what a system does it removes the emotional attachment. It also removes uncertainty because if you stick to a system and you logically stick to a system, you know that that’s the sensible thing to do. 

You don’t have this inability to plan. Because what happens with uncertainty is I’m not sure if I can afford that, or I’m not sure we can get to there. And it allows you to spot issues.

So what I’ve done is I have put some spreadsheets up which are actually in the vault. If you haven’t watched the series it’s in the video series, but I want to talk about it. So you can hear me live talking about it.