Amazing that actually ties perfectly into the topic of what I wanted to speak to you about which is purpose and how to find it, because I was just saying before you came online that there’s a handful of people and it’s not that many to be honest, that are living their purpose, living life consciously, they’re making decisions consciously.
They’re living life on their terms and yes, there’s ups and downs in life that’s what life throws at us.
But in the macro for a long period of time one person I’ve known who is living there purpose is yourself Dr Ro.
When I attended Turning Point, your big personal development event, one of the biggest challenges people had and they would say, “Ro, how do I find my purpose?”
That’s one of the biggest questions, so I’ll leave it as an open question and we can explore it as a conversation.
If somebody says to you and I’ve seen you perform in regards to interventions and coaching 10 people, 50 people, 100 people and 300 plus, one of the questions is if I was one of those students who came to you and said, “Ro this is amazing but how do I find my purpose.
I don’t know if I am living my purpose. I’ve only got one life, am I living my purpose? What do I do?”
And they almost panic. So what would be your first response?
My first response and it’s almost like a standard response now is you don’t find your purpose and that’s the challenge.
Most people go out looking for their purpose. It’s like they get the magnifying glass out and say, “where is it? Why can’t I find it?”
And they spend years head down saying, “I’m working in this job, I’m trying this, I’m reading these books, I’ve experimented with that.”
They are looking for something which actually is the wrong way to do it because what’s happening is they are going in pursuit of something rather than allowing themselves to get aligned with who they are as a person. i.e. core value systems you live by and it’s like a vibrational frequency.
This is you vibrating like this and that vibrational frequency represents your purpose, so it is out there. It is already in the universe and it’s there; it is what you’re going to be aligned with.
But if you’re out doing this and you see my other hand there, you’re trying this, you’re trying there is absolutely no way the two are going to get into synchronicity.
But what happens is if you slow yourself down and you start to allow yourself to focus in on who you are as a person and what starts to make you feel good about who you are as a person, one of the things if you’re passionate about something starts to shift and then every now and again, you do something that makes you feel amazing.
You see the two hands moving together?
You go wow and then what happens is you get pulled away by doing another project. Maybe it’s a business and you get money and you go “great and then you go, that’s really weird I feel out of alignment.
I was feeling good for a bit.” And then you settle off and back of that thing and for a while you might be doing something as a hobby or working with people and you go, “wow I feel cool again. This is great.”
Now you’re in your late 20s early 30s and for a short period things are feeling good and you get a pay rise, you get another job offer and I know this because I went through this and off you go again.
What happens is it’s already out there and I had that calling years ago as a speaker. I would literally be off doing three talks to people and I was feeling totally fine, I was in synchronicity. Then I’d get off and do something else.
The point I’m trying to make is that out there, there is definitely a calling. It may not be just one, there might be two things that are moving slightly differently to each other.
So as you come out as a person you might be doing one thing that you feel aligned with and it feels great and then you do something else you feel aligned with and you ignore those things.
That’s what I did when I was speaking, I ignored it for maybe one and a half decades.
I started when I was in my late teens, early 20s I thought it was a great thing. I felt good, I want to pursue business and a lot of that pursuit was a lot to do with money and that’s the problem.
People try and monetise what they are doing to make it a purpose as opposed to finding out who they are as a person.
There are little indicators that you look for that help you identify when you feel most alive, when you are most aligned and most on purpose and then you start to ask the question, how can I monetise that?
As opposed to how can I go and make money in the business over there?
Why do I feel misaligned?
Why do I feel disconnected?
Why don’t I feel on purpose?
That is throwing a lot of stuff out there to give you some food to chomp out with me.
That’s a foundation level and there are two things off the back of that.
Number one is one of the challenges is when somebody even achieves that financial reward or whatever they were chasing, it almost still feels empty. They’re like, “I’ve got a lot of money in the bank, but what does that mean? Something doesn’t feel right.”
That’s one of the things certainly I’ve seen and I know you’ve shared with me as well.
The next thing is one of the questions that came up from what you said there is, how do you know who you are?
How do you understand who you are because one of the elements you discussed there was, once you know who you are and determine who you are, in terms of your values and beliefs, then you know what you are pursuing in regards to finding a purpose and then finding that perfect alignment.
One of the questions then would be how do I find out who I am?
Right so, just rewiring your sentence there it isn’t even about aligning who you are and then finding your purpose. It’s almost not even that it’s actually going back to who you are and then asking the questions from that space what do I love most?
What do I feel?
What do I enjoy doing most that makes me feel most alive? And then asking the question, if I were to pursue that would I feel more on purpose? If the answer is yeah actually I feel so much more aligned to where I feel my life is going, then in that space, asking the question, can I monetise that? As opposed to saying let me go and find my purpose now.
It’s still not a case of looking at your purpose. I think that’s the key objective here, it is to get out of the head saying what’s my purpose.
Even before we answer that question actually we probably need to back up and say what do we mean by purpose? Because a lot of people think it has to be a massive life changing thing.
That’s probably the problem. I mean people are saying, “I can’t find my purpose”, but actually we’ve got something in the Seekardo vault as you know, and within the vault there are these amazing series of videos.
One of those series is helping you discover what your life purpose is or what your core purposes are. And within that series one of the sections I do, one of the video series I do within there is, how about you attach a sense of purpose to each of your different areas of your life?
So part of that process is actually saying right what are my four, five or six key areas? One of them being healthy, another one could be relationships, another one could be being a parent, another one could be making money.
And then you give that area a sense of purpose. So you start to describe how you want to be and how you want to show up and how you want your focus to be as a healthy person.
And then as a parent let me define my vision and my purpose for that area as a parent.
What I found in doing that process is breaking it down so it doesn’t have to be some huge monolithic purpose.
When somebody wakes up in the morning and says, “ I know what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.” That light bulb moment it doesn’t.
It does for some people but actually there’s lots of threads that lead to the overall purpose. So, even for me, although it might be because the obvious question is okay so “Ro, you seem quite on purpose”, but there are times I go off tangent and everybody does.
But going back to your opening statement, “Ro you’re one of the people I sense that are in that part.” That’s because actually I realised that my main overall riding purpose where I feel most aligned whether it’s my health is being able to share openly like I did yesterday in front of 500 people for a couple of hours.
A subject I’m passionate about that I’ve managed to process in quite a complex way and then communicate it with impact, in a simple way that connects with your heart.
Harminder’s heart or Geena’s heart, your wife who is there in the house with you. Or whoever it is where they go out wow. And if I feel I’ve done that and they take something away from that I feel alive.