Hey folks, Dr Ro, I hope you are well.
I thought I would just share a very short message with you as I got a lesson from my eldest daughter who is 11 years of age this week and it’s to do with the someday story that we tell ourselves.
One of the things that I learnt years ago, and I use this to reflect back on my audiences and myself, or have it reflected upon me by someone else in this case my daughter this week.
The fact that we say yes someday or one day.
One day I’m going to do this and as an example last weekend one of things I said to my audience as, if you’ve ever said someday I’m going to get into property or someday I’m going to write a book, or one day I’m going to do this for my family, or one day I’m going to have that experience.
The challenge of course there is that you haven’t set that as a specific goal.
Classic thing I say is to open up a diary or calendar and have a look inside and try to look down there and say when is one day, when is someday? When is that? It is not written down, we use it as an excuse, and you can argue with me, but I think it is an excuse.
I think it’s something that historically as human beings we’ve done as an easy way to avoid setting it and making a decision, putting the action in place, putting the effort in place. It’s an easy pass away comment, it’s one that we can side track a conversation with, one that we can deflect a commitment to.
It’s one easily that can be used to put that effort back or that commitment back to another time in the future. And as much as you and I might argue about that the reality is it is a truth so one day, someday is a really common dream statement. When exactly in the future?
Do you mean in the next five minutes or do you mean in the future in the next five years?
It is the same thing with relationships everything and we all fall into this trap depending on what our emotional level development is, how much pressure we’ve got on us, how many distractions are going on around us and how important it is that we fulfil that goal.
What happened this week was we were at a climbing centre myself, my daughter and my good friend Harminder. My daughter Savannah said to me, when are we going to look at some climbing shoes as I want to get a pair that fit me comfortably. I said to her I found a couple of places; one in Guildford we can head out there.
She said, when? I said, one day next week.
She said to me what do you mean one day next week? I said we’ll go one day next week. She said to me, but I thought you said that you can’t say someday or one day? I thought you said you had to actually put a specific date on it and Harms burst into laughter. He was like you’ve been nailed man with your own philosophy and I was like yes well done-Savannah lesson for daddy.
We set a date and said we’ll look at some shoes first online and then from that it makes it better when we get there. It builds the excitement up, so now we’ve got something we can do in advance of that day and then when she leads up to the day she gets even more excitement.
That’s one of the benefits of actually setting a specific date to do something because now you put activity consciously to achieve that goal to work towards it, who do I need to speak to, where do I need to do the research, I can start to build up an anticipation so when I’m there I’m super pumped to do it.
Here’s my $64 million question what would be one of your somedays, one day you put on a personal level, professional level. What is just one thing you know consciously or if you reflect back and think actually, I’ve been saying this for a long time.
What have you put off as an excuse that one day you’re going to do it that you just say sod it, we’re going to do it now.
If you’re going to do it you have to say when you’re going to start it. You don’t have to do the whole thing, just set a date to do it, to start it.
What’s one action you can do to get there?
It is the biggest excuse that people make for pursuing their passions and dreams, et cetera or down to even small things like a pair of climbing boots.
Sometimes our children can be our best teachers or best reminders of teachers or what we teach for example.
Socrates said remembering is learning and that is so true.
Dr Ro signing out.