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What message are you communicating to your children?

We’re coming up to Christmas at the end of the year, we had a difficult period where we were at home with the kids and also I think we’re at a point in time where how we hold the space for our kids, how we manage that space these next months are important. 

So for me I think we have a duty as a parent to guide them but at the same time, give them the space to express to us how they’re feeling. 

My concern from a parent perspective is that we may not be necessarily communicating to them in a way that we should be. 

Some people talk about conflicts with the kids, maybe not feeling the connection. Some children are closing down, locking out going into a digital world as it’s easier to hide in that space especially if they’re not connecting with their friends and are not getting out. Having basic connections, they need at this age. 

If that evolution is stinted, stifled, masked, suffocated it can define and change who they become in the future. 

The first thing to remember is that they model us. 

Every action, every movement, every gesture, everything we do our children model us. They are mini versions of us until such time that they realise they don’t want to be mini versions of us, and they kick back or an occurrence happens where they redefine their beliefs of who they are and how they operate in the world. 

We have a chance whilst they’re young, we have a blank canvas to at least help paint a picture that has beauty, abundance, more rounded lips and all of us as parents will wrestle with that, myself included. 

There are times when we’re frustrated and our kids make our blood boil and that is because they are basically kicking back and this is number two is your world and their world. 

What they are doing could in some way create a better model for them. Maybe the way you react to a situation or the way you act under stress or the way you articulate what’s going on around the world at the moment. What you see, read, hear through the media. 

How do you then filter that down into the household and how do you articulate that because they can pick up on that and I’ve done a lot of work with unconscious programming of kids and people in general. 

Sadly, it’s just like a sponge process, especially if they have no frame of reference if they’re young enough to have no other set of beliefs or values or rules or definitions or picture of the world. Their picture of the world becomes the picture you paint for them. 

The question is, what is the model you want them to follow? 

Can you give them access to inspirational material? What they see through the eyes of somebody else through some perceived video camera that is distorted on a YouTube video could become consumed by somebody else’s life so now your children will model that.

Understand if they become hooked on a YouTube channel or a channel that is following another child’s life or another family’s life they’re actually modelling that family. The other one is your world versus their world, so most of what you teach what you want your kids to do is based on your set beliefs. 

I know that because I have my set of beliefs and want to impart them on our children because we believe that we are right. But our kids live in a different world where they kick back against us and where there’s a conflict sometimes it’s all about communication. 

You have to understand how your world is perceived through their eyes is different how your world is perceived through your eyes.

They see your world as a completely separate way so you might think you are articulating something but they don’t see it that way. 

One of the components we talk about in the CWI process is rapport, understanding how to get into a rapport with your children in such a way that you understand their world. That means slowing back, stepping down physically, reducing your body size if you have to. if they’re sitting down you sit down becomes smaller. 

Emotionally become smaller and get back into that space. I don’t mean in a negative way, I mean just go into a space that becomes your child’s world and see the situation through their eyes and understand what their fears are.

Understanding what style is appropriate is really important. 

Become your child in the way you communicate at least get a sense of where they’re at and the last one is the archetypes. 

When I get people shifting through the archetypes and conversation it’s like people get tearful as an example one of the archetypes is the lover. In terms of connecting with the universe in a loving way and that archetype is very powerful. 

As parents we might think we’re in that mode but we are no, we’re in a different archetype. 

The problem is if you’re in one of the other three archetypes that archetype won’t be the right one to communicate to your child, so knowing how to go into that archetype and at the same time maintaining your role as a parent and detaching yourself and playing out the role of the lover example and connecting that rapport with your child. 

At the same time seeing their situation and communicating with the language they can understand. It’s a game changer. They’ll then open up in a completely different way because our problem is if we struggle with our beliefs, the rules about how we see the world and how you want them to be, it will cause pushback because their beliefs that they have are different to yours. 

Archetype shifting really works with an understanding and going in and building upon being in your child’s place. If we don’t help protect our kids over this next year I think a lot of children will get fucked up, because mental health issues are growing massively and teenage girls’ self-abuse is growing.

It’s like one in four now I think. 

We have to stop this, helping to understand because they need to express if they can’t express they do something dangerous to themselves. They need another outlet and we have a growing problem with this culturally and this has not been helped by Covid. 

The underlying message is positive, which is that there are tools to do it.

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